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Feedback is a gift

We may not always want to hear feedback from others, but in this video Craig explains that if we take the time to reflect on feedback we are given, we can see it for the gift that it is.

This video has captions. To see them, click CC on the video screen.

Here’s what Craig says in the video

Hey everybody! Hi, it’s Craig Freshley here. I’m setting up for a meeting but I want to share with you something that I heard in a meeting a couple days ago.

Somebody gave somebody else some feedback. It was a little hard for the person to take but they said, “Okay, feedback is a gift.” And I started to think about that, and I agree. It was hard for that person to accept that gift in the moment. It was some tough feedback, but they recognized that actually it’s a gift because they get to go away and think about that feedback.

Now, you might not always agree with what somebody else tells you – you don’t have to, that’s up to you – but it’s pretty darn useful to know from time to time at least what you look like to others; how you’re perceived by other people. The best leaders in my opinion are always asking for feedback, and they’re open to feedback, and they welcome it, even though it might be hard. Because it’s by hearing from others how we are coming across, that we can better adjust how we’re coming across.

Just like feedback is a gift, a mirror is a gift. It lets us see ourselves as others see us. Sometimes hard to look at — we might not like everything that we see — but it sure is good information.

I hope this helps you help your group make good decisions.

Thanks a lot everybody.

3 thoughts on “Feedback is a gift

  1. Thanks for your comment Wayne!

    Hi Grace – Thanks for your comment too!

    Here’s a one-page Tip I wrote about getting along with someone even when there’s a strong disagreement. https://craigfreshley.com/tip-contain-disagreement/

    And here’s a video called Tasks and Relationships. https://craigfreshley.com/tasks-and-relationships/

    Not trying to push these things on you. Just trying to be helpful.

    I think it’s a beautiful thing when people can have a significant disagreement yet still treat each other with respect and work together on other issues.

    Thanks so much for bringing this to the fore.

  2. Seeking feedback is the hallmark of a good leader. If you are the leader or chair of an organization don’t wait for feedback, ask for it. Such leadership generates enthusiasm and a willeness to make the project successful. Good video, Craig.

  3. Craig, you’ve got all these options
    and I’ve got this much time — other things going on for me.

    I’ve told people about the movie.
    I’ve thought about your project and (over time) brought several people to it.

    My feed-back stems from that.
    It has seemed that you started out with a primary focus of helping people to say one to another, something that differs in point of view from one to anyother and encouraging focus on trying to listen and feed back.

    I’ve tended to think sometimes you stopped short, a little too cautious, too protective, when there might be a mood in the room to let it go longer and further. Nobody’s going to bite someone or hit them, but it could be harder.

    I’m currently wondering how to promote a friendship that was just trying out
    between myself (old lady) and another person (young man). We’d been on a zoom committee together, pretty much in accord, but it turns out we are
    in kind of sharp disagreement about whether homeless people should be
    taken in at Preble Street. I said to him, “Let’s see if we can continue the disagreement and keep trying for a friendship.” I likes this guy, and we liked
    talking.

    I need to get back to him. Each of us has written an excellent letter to the
    editor (published). Each of us spoke at the City Planning Board hearing a
    week ago.

    This is a really on-the-table challenge. Have to find out first if he is willing
    to try to keep it going. We may not know each other well enough or have
    enough energy in storage. But I plan to contact him again.

    I see you have some resources, but not taking time for that right now.

    Grace

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