In principle, just because a person is talking doesn’t necessarily mean they are contributing, or that they are the only one contributing. Most of the time in a group decision setting, listening is the best contribution we can make. It is through listening, not talking, that we develop understanding, compassion, and creative solutions.
Practical Tip: Bite your tongue, hold your horses, cool your jets. To listen, don’t talk. Don’t be distracted by planning your talk.
If I let you talk first while I listen, it gives me some practical advantages:
1. To hear where you are coming from helps me choose my words. You have likely provided me some new information that I can incorporate.
2. Once you’ve got your words out you are more likely to be open to hearing mine.
3. Not talking first gives me time to listen within, listen to my own thoughts and feelings.
I help the group’s decision process when I consider my inner thoughts, how I really feel about something, so that when my words are spoken they are aligned with inner truth.
– Craig Freshley